Adventures in Slumberland

James Joyce, Kevin Kline & Movable Body Parts

2012-02-08T14:36:00.000-05:00

I dreamed I was cast in The Dead, based on the James Joyce novel. However, I never went to a rehearsal or even touched the script, erroneously thinking all I had to do was play dead. I thought I had such few lines, and had planned on learning them the day of the performance, but anxiety set in that there would be too many to learn so I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I even arrived at the theater early, greeting my mother, sister and grandparents (the same grandparents who passed away over 20 years ago IRL). They were looking forward to seeing me on stage, but I didn’t tell them I was about to stand everyone up. I fell asleep somewhere and dreamed I was in the version I imagined, lying dead on my back (and naked). Emily had a long monologue eulogizing my character and as she did, took my phallus in her hand. I felt I was a fairly convincing dead guy up to that point, using a shallow breathing technique that kept me still. But I learned (the hard way????) that there is NOTHING a man can do to keep completely still when someone is handling his member. After I “awoke” from my “dream,” I thought it was finally time to confront the director I had walked away from, none other than the great Kevin Kline. I spoke about how awful I was to do this and that I was not planning on working in the theatre again. His response made me feel worse, saying that I ruined his career as well.

Madison Square Garden Dream

2012-01-29T15:59:00.002-05:00

As I stood outside Madison Square Garden one night, I marveled how safe I felt on the streets of New York, mainly because there was a cop on every corner. But soon they would all be distracted by an incident that left me vulnerable to a couple of shady characters. A soccer game suddenly appeared on the sidewalk and a player was shot as he attempted to score. While the police attended to that situation, two men accosted me, checking me out for valuables. Since they weren't interested in the only possession I had of value, my watch, they took me to their place to be their cleaning person. The apartment was miserably sad and run down. Only when I saw my ex-wife, Bonnie, did I realize we were playing roles for a movie. I was praying hard she wouldn't take off all her clothes (she was beginning to disrobe).

I was Morgan Freeman

2012-01-25T16:31:00.003-05:00

I spent some time being Morgan Freeman. Not portraying him, I was actually him. I carried a wad of hundred dollar bills on me and made a transaction with some. I eventually was left to ponder with my buddy why our heads were shrunk to the size of a golf ball, hanging from strings.

Clifton Murder

2012-01-24T16:34:00.002-05:00

I parked a convertible on the hill at Clifton and stopped it before it rolled. A nearby truck was nestled at the side of the house, where men were loading my possessions from the basement into the truck. I initially did not find this unusual, since I was moving out and assumed they were helping. But panic set in as it dawned on me I did not know them. The house next door had a hill on the far side of it that was as high as the house. I went there to spy on them. The ground was squishy. I woke up suddenly, rather stunned, when I learned the men had a gun and murdered my ex-wife inside.

Floating Away From a Fire

2012-01-09T07:33:00.002-05:00

For reasons unknown, my sleeping place was a room sized platform, outside, high above a street. There were a couple of normally occupied mattresses in a corner furthest from the street, but my place was opposite, making me feel a bit unsafe. What if a car came up the ramp and ran over me as I slept? As I contemplated moving my spot, the entire floor appeared as one giant mattress and slipped over the edge with me hanging on to it and somehow not falling all the way to the ground. I pushed the mattress back into place, but started a fire with a tipped candle in the process. I got away by hanging on to a helium filled balloon, floating from the fire.

Iron Man and Globey

2012-01-03T07:11:00.002-05:00

I dreamed I did a waltz with Emily with Amazing Grace playing. In another dream, I watched Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) transform, but his legs were glass. Then he tried to start a campfire without matches. He could not until the sun came up, and it refracted off the glass. He thanked the sun, calling it "Globey."

I Wished I Could Wake Up!

2012-01-01T09:50:00.002-05:00

I actually felt myself crying in this dream where Emily disappeared. The last I saw her, we walked down a street of an unknown small town. She turned left down a blacktop drive sloping down to a lake. I continued for awhile before waiting for her to catch up. Thirty minutes later, I retraced my steps and could not find her by the water. There was a cave below the blacktop, but all I saw were shadows of cats. I called Em on my cell, but the service was nonexistent. I collapsed next to the water and cried, thinking she must have drowned. The weird thing was, I knew it was a dream, but that did not make me feel better. I sat there wishing I could wake up. I thought jumping into the water to drown would do it, but the thought of going through that anguish to awaken did not appeal to me. I finally awoke just by wishing hard enough.

Did I Control My Sister's Dream?

2011-12-26T07:05:00.002-05:00

I visited a home on Harding, just around the corner from my Clifton home. To the best of my knowledge, I completely made up the three people who lived there, a couple in their 70's and their daughter. The daughter, who resembled her mother, held a flea ridden cat in her lap and asked if I knew of any good treatment options. Just when it appeared the mother and my sister Amy were going to kiss, I stopped them with my mind, saying I wasn't going to allow that to happen. I felt like I was controlling my sister's dream as my own.

The Cousins from Breaking Bad Wreak Havoc at Clifton and My Daughter Looks Like Natalie Wood

2011-12-17T08:05:00.003-05:00

The Cousins from Breaking Bad wreaked havoc on my normally idyllic Clifton neighborhood. I was on lockdown inside my house as a number of murders were taking place in the back yard. The Cousins were stunningly proficient in that whoever they targeted was dead meat. Except Danny Trejo. Danny Trejo sought refuge at the back door with a nail through his cheek. I went down to the basement by myself. I forgot to bring a weapon, which I knew I would regret. Sure enough, someone was following me. I figured I was as good as dead. It turned out to be my daughter, in a slip and open robe, looking very much like Natalie Wood. Her appearance did not make me feel in any less danger, as she looked ready to inflict harm as well. However, she came up and put her arms around me, saying she forgave me for whatever I'd done.

Theatre and Musclebound Dad

2011-12-16T16:03:00.000-05:00

A pretty classic theatre dream where the director was absent from a rehearsal for some unknown reason. A cadre of us, mostly guys I think, tried our best to muddle through. At times, I would help folks on their lines, especially the overlapping and unison ones. But when another cast member tried to direct us, I got irritated. I did not need to look far for the impetus behind this dream. Our read through for my current play was last night and I met a lot of new people there.

For the second time this year, my dad appeared more strapping than he used to be when he was alive. He actually complimented me on being a good father myself (I did the same for him as well). What was unusual was that Dad died when my children were very small, but in this dream, the implication was that he observed my parenting all the way to their adulthood, lending credence to my theory that my father looks down on me even today, and pays visits to me in my dreams.

It's tough sometimes being Magic's only friend....

2011-12-11T05:57:00.002-05:00

I played a little pickup basketball, but it wasn't just any old game. I shared the court with none other than Magic Johnson. As cool as that seemed, no one else seemed to be impressed and it affected his mood. The two of us spent quite a bit afterward chatting about his loneliness. It seemed I was Magic's only friend! Eventually, the gym turned into my Clifton living room, where Magic, me, and a couple others watched TV. The house did not belong to me in this dream, but my ex-wife, Bonnie. I walked through the kitchen, noticing it messy, but at least the dishes were done (a task that rarely got done timely when we really were married). Water had gathered at the back door landing, but it wasn't a house maintenance issue as so many Clifton dreams used to be, but the streets were flooded. In fact, I found I could run and slide along Riley and Clifton along the 1/2 inch cushion of moisture. One block south on Clifton, flags announced the grand opening of an apartment complex that was built right in the middle of the street! I walked upstairs and down, observing all the different people, mostly women and some with children, moving into their places.

Black Like Me

2011-12-06T07:04:00.002-05:00

Here's a first. A dream where I'm black. At first, I got the impression I was a white playing a black, but after awhile, that distinction fell away altogether. I was brought into a class of gifted students. We were going to receive special training to be classical singers. As I was greeted by the male professor, he subtly slipped my hand down my shirt. I sat down, trying not to think about the future ramifications of THAT. Looking around the room, I noted I wasn't the only person of color, but I was the only African American. I had a nice, short conversation with the woman beside me. I felt like I was going to be accepted. However, the assistant was a young white fellow who had it out for me. Coming in from an outdoor excursion, he faked an act of aggression. I instinctively grabbed his kicking leg in midair. He seemed unimpressed with my quick reflexes and alluded to "getting me later." I made another grab in response to his move and to my surprise, discovered I did not have enough strength to control him. I woke up from the struggle.

YMCA!

2011-12-05T06:47:00.003-05:00

The front desk in the lobby at the Downtown Y was torn out in favor of an auditorium. Stairs to a basement were still off to the left of the lobby, where people, me included, amused themselves by laying at the bottom of the stairs and kicking balloons up them. Later, in another dream, I was scheduled to sing a song from a show I backed out of. I waited until the day before to learn it. Oh, I almost forgot. I got high in a dream, sort of. Smoked a bowl with Tony S.

Dad at Clifton, Mom at LA

2011-11-22T06:03:00.002-05:00

I created one of the more accurate visions of my dad last night, meeting him in the Clifton kitchen over a sandwich. So accurate in fact, I was actually convinced he was still alive.

Also, I visited LA for the second time in a week. This time, Mom and I drove separate cars, on a spectacular freeway system of orange roads winding and weaving high among the skyscrapers.

LA was too much for the man...

2011-11-18T17:25:00.002-05:00

I experienced a sensation of being in LA, wanting to attend a Dodgers game soon after being in St. Louis for the Cardinals. I remember wondering how I was going to get back to Michigan, but somehow walking didn't seem out of the question. Lastly, I had a vision while in LA of the house I only see in dreams, very reminiscent of the one I actually lived in while in Mason, but in dreams it's usually set in the country. Viewing it up close with it's imperfect siding and roof, I once again chided myself for having ever bought it. I think that in real life, too.

I Met My Great Grandfather!

2011-11-17T07:15:00.002-05:00

I got into a rather significant argument with my wife and went off to sulk in a rocking chair on an outdoor porch. However, I was facing away from the street. Despite that, it was a nice scene in front of me, enabling me to calm down. Then the porch became a funeral parlor. One by one, relatives walked in that I either hadn't seen in a long time, are deceased in real life or, as the case with my great grandfather, had never met, for he died the month before I was born. Oh, and my father sported a beard, which he never actually grew. After the wake, I preceded a stellar chorale led by Kelly and Ben to a parking lot where I was going to hop in my car to go home. I sang along with them and felt privileged to do so. The parking lot became an auditorium, where I found a seat by myself, but I was forced to move because someone was setting up a projection screen in front of me.

Dad Looks Good, But Not Too Bright

2011-11-14T15:57:00.002-05:00

Well, that was better than I EVER remember Dad looking like when he was alive. He was fit and handsome, quite athletic. I always knew him with a gut. He walked into our Clifton home and invited me to a Lugnuts game. Then he started to urinate in the corner of the dining room until he caught himself, knowing I was right there. I walked into the bathroom and put my foot through a hole in the floor by the bathtub.

Too Crazy

2011-11-03T06:45:00.002-04:00

I had a dream where I was still married to my first wife and the boys were young, about 30 years ago. We were at Mystic Lake Camp. Jeremy was young enough to be carried. In fact, I was supposed to give a speech for his christening lakeside. Jeremy's hat obscured that his forehead was bloodied, so we had to clean that up. A young, black guide advised me to include the story of slavery in my speech. Our friends and family gathered around, as well as many strangers, which surprised me. We were ready, but no one knew who was to start it. I got embarrassed and excused myself, saying I'd be back in about 10 minutes, or 4:30. I walked by myself to the end of the dock where a train passed by underneath it. I wanted to hop on it, but the opening was too small to go through. I felt the sensation of moving while on the dock, but not as fast as the train. I then made my way to a two story mess hall, where I gathered items such as an oil lamp for the service. It was at about this point I noticed I had nothing on but tighty whities and black socks. The kids going through the mess line laughed at me, so I began striking down the ones who passed by. Since I was so much bigger than them, I offended one of the Harlem Globetrotters. He trash talked me and challenged me to a one on one matchup. I ignored him, so he followed me upstairs and I thought he was going to kick my ass. Instead, he helped me gather up all the things I needed to take back to the lake, including my clothes. Halfway back, I got angry because I had forgotten my shoes. I was also upset because I knew it was past 4:30 and I assumed no one would want to stay for Jeremy's christening.

Lou Holtz, Sleeping Cameraman

2011-11-01T07:23:00.002-04:00

I walked to an upstairs window of a house I only see in dreams. Sliding it up, I noticed the screen was affixed to the outside of the frame instead of tucked in. Then came a flash of lightning, a boom, and there I was, woken up and tingling.

In other dream news, I watched the filming of a Luke Wilson movie. I was actually in the room with him. He wore a gray suit in a room full of gray furnishings (the movie's theme was death and dying). The camera panned away from Luke and stayed on the furnishings. It seemed a nice effect at first, but after awhile, it was apparent the cameraman fell asleep on the job. Looking in his direction, there was Lou Holtz on the bed, apologetic for his cinematic gaffe. I joked that it was because he was older than Emily and me combined. He laughed.

Corn and Porn

2011-10-31T06:29:00.002-04:00

I was at work at the trucking company. Shawn was hungry, and even though it was only an hour before my quitting time, I placed an order while she went to get it. However, I wasn't hungry at all upon her return. There wasn't anything to do. Some people I knew from my first marriage came in due to some emergency. I said hello to Debbie, a girlfriend of my brother in law as they left. My friend Bill came by, complaining of not finding a good place to eat. I opened the front door and one of my cats snuck out (as happens all the time in real life). The company became part restaurant, part bookstore. Employees went to different stations replenishing corn on the cob. They replaced the eaten ones with fresh. I remarked to someone I had never even been trained on the cash register before. Kids in bunk beds overlooked an aisle with porn on magazine racks, plastic wrappers everywhere. I hitched a ride from a town east of Lansing because my car was a few blocks from home in West Lansing (although for a second, I had to think whether I lived in my present house or Clifton). I asked to be dropped off at Oakland and Pennsylvania because the foreign man driving the van said he was headed to Webberville.

Trucking Maze, Clifton Rubberbands, Conspiracy

2011-10-30T09:11:00.002-04:00

My friend Bill and I were teamed as truck drivers on our inaugural assignment. I was so excited, I had to ask twice which dock our truck was in by Chris. It turned into a deadline dream, racing up escalators and taking subway trains to find the right place before someone else took over for us.

Also last night, I laid on my back on the sidewalk in front of Clifton, shooting rubber bands into the air. I felt good when they occasionally would hit the power line. One narrowly missed a passer by. A while later, I actually did strike a guy, evoking his anger. I thought he was going to stomp on me until I explained what I was really doing and meant him no harm.

I remembered having a dream a few nights ago that was born of my impression of Conspiracy, a play centered around the Final Solution prior to the Holocaust I recently attended. It was a chilling dream because I was the Jew, being duped into thinking my life would be spared. In the group I was in, we were pampered by being given new clothes. Being thankful for the Nazis' generosity was short lived, however. I understood the danger moments before I was to walk through a doorway to death by shotgun. I woke up when I tried to get away.

Part Branded, Part Batman

2011-10-24T06:28:00.002-04:00

This dream began innocently enough. Riding a bike to the end of a street, winding up in a man's barnyard. A guy who followed me on a bike struck up a conversation with the farm's owner, who turned out to be a creep. He made his intentions known he wanted to abduct my friend from my old job, Charla. This he punctuated by writing his nickname for her in the dirt--Carla Doodle. We made sure he didn't carry out his threat by branding him in the back, making him scream like a girl in the process. Later, I saw this same scene unfold on TV, complete with photos of Charla. I texted her to inform her she was part of the Batman TV series, but she already knew. I looked up into the sky and saw a tiny moon with a strange orange color.

Victor Martinez Strikes Out Seven Times in One Game

2011-10-22T09:39:00.003-04:00

I was feeling pretty lazy on the couch in my Clifton home, watching the Tigers and Rangers play. A young teen boy walked in from outside and stood nearby, apparently waiting for a response from me, but I was too lazy to ask what he wanted. The next thing I knew, I was watching the same game outside, sitting on the parkway in front of the house. After that, I was in a school, asking my friend Bill how the game ended. Although Detroit won the game 3-0 in extra innings, Ranger pitchers had 20 strikeouts, including fanning Victor Martinez all seven trips to the plate. Austin Jackson struck out six times. Oh, and did I mention Bill turned into a midget alien?

ABF Trucking at Clifton and Bowling With an iPad

2011-10-21T07:15:00.003-04:00

Chris, my boss in real life, operated his trucking office from my old Clifton residence. He was scurrying around getting truckers their assignments as I was waking up. A number of people unrelated to trucking, including Mark M. from my theatre crowd, crawled inside through a window. I could not understand how they could all have been outside if we were on the second story, but then I realized we were in the front bedroom downstairs.

In another dream, I practiced bowling for an upcoming tournament. I sucked at first, but eventually picked up enough to get a 164 first game. I insisted on keeping my iPad on the approach and a kid was threatening to take it. He thought I wouldn't want to give up bowling, but I did, to hang on to my device.

Wacky Dream Featuring Mom and Dad

2011-10-20T06:29:00.002-04:00

I was going to report this dream where three different people showed examples of raising kids leniently while I was much more strict with mine (the opposite of real life). However, as I lay awake recalling the details in the middle of the night, I fell back asleep and the following dream wiped out the memory of the former:

I was part of a group of three carloads of people vacationing in an unknown town far from home. I was feeling sorry for myself because it felt like no one really wanted me in their car. Ludicrously, I began to walk home and virtually everybody followed me to see what was wrong (except the Englishes, who were rehearsing with the Lange chorale). I collapsed in the grass, but stayed conscious and waved off CPR attempts. I was surrounded by a good number of kids, and my mom and dad. The misunderstanding was straightened out. Mom and Dad were going to drop me off at home that night. I thought about having them stop the car so I could run inside to get my iPad, but then I thought I could just wake up from my dream and use it then. We all ended up inside the hotel anyway. I lay on a couch, naked, reading that Texas defeated St. Louis in the first game of the World Series, 14-5, and Michigan State defeated Michigan in football, 19-10.

Building Search, Off With Wallace Shawn

2011-10-18T14:31:00.002-04:00

I was walking down the stairwell of a multistory building, watching Michael H. heading up an adjoining stairwell in the process. It made me wonder why people have to ascend for no reason, if they have no business there. Then I thought of my own reason for doing so--- to access the roof. So I headed up, but instead of the roof, I discovered a room with bolted glass doors and a long narrow bed. I broke in by tripping the bolts. I became afraid of entering further when I discovered signs of someone recently being there. I exited the building, hopping into a car driven by Wallace Shawn, who informed me he took over the Detroit Tigers managerial position. The Princess Bride star proceeded to explain how he was going to improve the team.

Paramount News

2011-10-18T14:25:00.002-04:00

I found myself back at my first job, at a bookstore, but it is now current day, current age. I was working with one other employee, who must have wondered where I was around the 9:30 pm closing time (in reality, we were open until 11). I was trying to politely excuse myself from a young, overweight woman with 4 children. She seemed to be "husband hunting." When I finally got back to the front of the store, the coworker was gone, replaced by two strangers. So I simply walked out the door and promptly fell on a sidewalk that was covered with a sheet of ice.

Snowed In

2011-10-18T14:21:00.001-04:00

An outrageously bad snowstorm raged as I was apparently safe inside my Clifton home. That is, until the squall got inside the house somehow and buried me.

Flying on the Waves

2011-10-10T07:25:00.003-04:00

Rushing flood waters kept pushing me. They came in waves, first small, then gradually bigger to the point they were over my head. But I rode the final wave; in fact, it sent me airborne. Unlike other flying dreams, I did not feel liberated. Rather, a doomsday mood prevailed.

Michelle Obama

2011-10-04T07:41:00.002-04:00

I had a dream where an image of cat's eyes within an embryo was moving beneath a flat plate of glass. But when Emily took a picture, the photo showed an image of a young boy.

I also had a brief conversation with Michelle Obama as we walked down a street where her husband was preparing to speak. In a Deja vu moment, she acknowledged remembering me from last year's speech in the city.

Chicago Midway

2011-10-03T05:58:00.002-04:00

It was a strange dream for no other reason than the mix of people involved. Emily, her nephew Danny were in Chicago with me, along my ex-wife's sister and her husband. It was late, 1:17 a.m. to be exact, and everyone wanted to go out. I went along, but wasn't happy about it. Adding to my discontent was a car door that would not shut. We were at someone's house and I decided after a while to go out to the car and sleep while waiting for the others. But Danny got into the car and drove it to a fair. I followed him as he won a stuffed animal on the midway while talking about the stock market. He eventually traded up to an iPad. Erik and Jan appeared, wanting the car back and crying, because they weren't sure how to get back. I had a pretty good idea, but they were asking directions as I approached them.

Driving While Blind

2011-10-02T09:19:00.002-04:00

I was in the process of driving Em and Drew to the old Walter French Junior High, but traffic was at a standstill. We got out of the car on Mt. Hope at Harding, and slipped into a recumbent bike, whereupon I commenced to pedal them toward the intersection at Pennsylvania. Dense fog enveloped us at that point and I was shocked to be running the red. Even looking out the window (were we back in a car?) all was pitch black. Fearful, all I wanted to do was get to the side of the road, but upon turning left, I had no idea if we were on the street or about to drive onto the median.

Well Armed

2011-10-02T09:05:00.002-04:00

I came upon a murder scene well after the investigation concluded. On Harding Ave., just north of Riley, I was surprised that the police left the murder weapon and a severed arm in a crate in the middle of the street at midnight.

Classic Theatre Dream

2011-09-22T14:04:00.002-04:00

I suspected I would have vivid dreams before hitting the sack last night. For one thing, fish for dinner almost guarantees them. Add to that the fact I saw the bizarre Escanaba in da Moonlight live on stage and it becomes easy to see I was expecting something memorable in my sleep. What resulted was a rather amusing theatre dream:

I performed a scene on stage with several actors. The dialogue was shared equally, fast paced and for this performance, well done. I had a couple of good sized lines and delivered them almost flawlessly. Afterward, a pretty wild party ensued and oblivious to the fact another performance was imminent, I got pretty wasted. When it became time to go onstage again, I knew I would be nowhere near my best, but remained confident of at least getting through it. I was fine on the beginning of my first line, but changed some words around to get all the way through it. Worse, leaving out a key word caused Brian S. to completely forget the next line. I covered him with my next line, but before long, the timing of the entire scene was in shambles, since we were all drunk, even Kat C.

I Was Murdered!

2011-09-21T06:34:00.002-04:00

My old Clifton home became my workplace. It kind of felt like I was 16 again, working at the Paramount News bookstore. I was straightening things with no one apparentally in the store except for sister Amy, who was helping. Amy had an ashen look on her face as she took a phone call. I took the phone without hesitation. How bad could it be? As it turned out, it was pretty bad. A man told us not to try anything funny as he was about to rob us. Now I have never been robbed in real life, but I have always suspected I may not be the most compliant guy when it comes to following their orders. In this instance, I took a quick glance toward the front, then hung up and dialed 911 on the rotary phone. The very next thing I knew, I was awake, with goosebumps of fear. I must have gotten shot. I felt silly in the subsequent dream, back on the phone with the police, explaining that although the robbery/shooting was a dream, I still found it necessary to report it.

Winter Scene

2011-09-20T05:58:00.002-04:00

The driveway of the house next door at Clifton was sloped for this dream only. One could slide down part way most wintertimes, but it was especially slippery now. I was able to slide the length of it into the street. Walking around to a side door of my old house, I was reminded that I didn't live there anymore, but my niece Gina did. In addition, her mom (my sister) was visiting from New York. I surprised Jorgia by lying across the doorway and pretending I was Gina. I went inside to discover my sons were there. I bored my theatre acquaintance Bruce and his friend with the story about the driveway and how we hadn't had any warm spells this winter, pointing to the pile of snow that was as high as the garage.

Gracie Drives the Bus

2011-09-16T07:32:00.002-04:00

I had planned on walking or running Waverly Rd. to 496 to downtown because for some reason, cars weren't being allowed on the streets. I looked behind me to find a CATA bus stopped in front of Value City. The rides were free during whatever transportation crisis we were having, so I hopped aboard. It was only then that I discovered Gracie, our kitten, had followed me all the way and now was perched on the driver with her paws on the wheels. For reasons unknown, I was hesitant to claim her. I thought it would be a hassle trying to claim her if I exited without her, but I did anyway. I woke up and upon deciding it was too early to get up, drifted back to sleep and going through the worry of waking up the next day in my dream and trying to figure out how to get Gracie back. Then I realized that in my present dream, the former dream was just a dream.

Old Dogs

2011-09-12T07:45:00.002-04:00

Real life: Got up to put the old dog out

Fell asleep and dreamed: A different old dog, white, female, with a balding head, gets let out the front door of Clifton, collapses while trying to take a dump.

Real life: Henry scratches at the door, waking me to come back in.

Home, Work, Golf

2011-09-11T08:23:00.002-04:00

Upon arriving home to the house on the hill that I only see in my dreams (one of them, anyway), I noticed a note on the door, that upon further inspection, was an engraved note, meaning I must have purchased the house with the note on it and didn't realize it. It said the owner was liable for something falling on his head while standing at the door. Before I could get through the entire note, a little girl walked up to me and attempted to force me into my own house! I laughed at the absurdity before it occurred to me she could possibly have a gun.

Working at a different ABF office with the same people. There wasn't much to do except take phone calls, do small projects and clean. All of our desks were uncluttered, save for newspaper spread on them. This dream turned into a State of Michigan one where I was supposed to get out of work at 12, but an office wide meeting went past that time. Although there were hundreds of employees in the room, the bosses singled me out to ensure a) I was present, and b) my lunch could be taken immediately afterward (they were unaware I was leaving for the day). Then the meeting became a charity plea, and I did not volunteer.

Running through the State Capitol, I didn't realize one of the hallways did not have an exit, so I had to turn around. Sliding on the floor made a swooshing sound.

Golfing dream. I golfed several holes before looking at the course map and realizing I'd done the holes out of order. I was afraid of disqualification, so I went back and started over.

Bob Gras Directs

2011-09-07T07:32:00.001-04:00

Bob Gras directed a rehearsal and I had my two lines in the scene down pat. Until he changed the blocking.

Sliding Down People and Landing in Soup

2011-09-04T16:48:00.001-04:00

I slid down a long ramp horizontally on my back. The unusual thing was that the ramp was made of people, lined up one after another and flattened. The price for going on the "ride" was that I had to climb into a vat of chicken noodle soup and serve the people I slid down on. I was warned about the vat being hot, but it wasn't even warm.

Kleis Clifton Christmas

2011-09-04T16:43:00.001-04:00

I was estranged from my first wife and boys, but wanted to see my sons for Christmas. Bonnie lived with the kids and her new husband at Clifton. I met them on the back patio. A little old lady came out and was the most happy to see me, wanting me to bend over and kiss her in between puffs of her cigarette.

Gina's Wedding Turns Into a Circus

2011-08-29T06:27:00.002-04:00

Em and I came home from grocery shopping to a house with an exterior and yard that I only see in dreams, but inside was a Clifton floor plan. I entered the back patio door ahead of Emily, only to have to report that water covered pretty much the entire floor space, then froze over. We weren't too fazed, figuring it was something we could fix without too much expense.

Gina's wedding turned bizarre. First of all, she had her maid of honor in a dress different from the other bridesmaids. In fact, she had TWO maids of honor: Missy and Alyssa. The wedding took place in an alley. Two boys were being distractive by playing around on a balcony. One of them took a leap that looked like trouble, but he landed on a cushion. Pretty soon, the whole scene turned into circus-like performances from trapeze artists, jumpers, divers, all dressed in Spiderman

Don't Read This Dream - Not For the Faint of Heart

2011-08-28T17:32:00.003-04:00

Here's a dream that really wigged me out. I was the next one to sing karaoke, but as the host was about to begin, he darted toward the restroom hall and aggressively accosted a guy I went to grade school with. He was angry that the man beheaded two people for being Jewish. At that moment, two headless bodies walked into the room. It occurred to me that way earlier in the dream, I saw a couple of heads lying around, but didn't think much of it at the time. But now, the grotesqueness of them still being alive shocked me awake.

Garbo Sighting in Philly

2011-08-27T07:38:00.002-04:00

By a twist of fate, Em and I found ourselves nearly running into Greta Garbo in Philadelphia. She got on a train as we got off, and moved quickly to get back on a second one to find her at a theater. We never did meet her, so Em decided to go back to our hotel without me. I hung out in the lobby for awhile and when I decided to walk out, I went right back in because of a huge mob outside. They began to follow me in and I ran down several flights of stairs. But no matter where I went, there was danger. The last I remember was reaching into a refrigerator for something to eat and a large hand came upon my shoulder, waking me.

In a previous dream last night, Conan O'Brien asked me, "What are you looking at?" in a restroom, thinking I was looking at his package. I wasn't. I was busy pulling up my own pants.

Fly, Fly, Fly

2011-08-24T19:09:00.002-04:00

Part of the beauty of dreams is that you can regularly experience sensations unlike anything in real life. The exhilaration from flying is one example. Now last night (real life), I stood outside and looked skyward as lightning flashed across the sky. Suddenly, I was reminded of my dreams where I would shoot up into the sky to greet the storm. The feeling was so close to the dream sensation, I shivered. Upon falling asleep last night, I flew. Not once, not twice, but on three different occasions, a first.

Flying and Dying in the Same Night

2011-08-22T07:28:00.002-04:00

Two different dreams last night. In the air 1,000 feet above the Hawaiian Islands. Although the sensation felt like being in an airplane, I was by myself, completely suspended over the gorgeous view below. However, I did hear a narrator, as if a travelogue, explain the differences in elevations amongst the islands. I looked ahead of me and sure enough, although 1,000 feet in the air, I was eye level with a mountain I was flying toward.

But later, I died, a gunshot victim. In the back yard of my home that I only see in dreams early one morning, a strange car pulled up and two men with rifles got out and looked around. I tried to get to the house in back of me to no avail. The next thing I knew, a comedian was giving my eulogy on a street corner, talking about when a friend passes, it draws people closer together. A fellow comedian came up to him afterward and said though he never considered seeing his act before, he was going to now. The eulogizer replied, "That's what I was talking about!"

My Speaking in a Dream Woke Up Emily and Me!

2011-08-18T17:15:00.002-04:00

If you talk in your sleep, do you know what you are saying? Is what you say in a dream the same as what you say out loud. For me, apparently the answer is yes!

I delivered a short monologue on stage without any problem at all. But later in the dream, I found myself in the identical scene and spot where I began the monologue with dramatic emphasis, "I hither thee---" Those three words were spoken out loud and somehow, I was instantly aware of that fact. So much so, that it startled me awake where I lay there wondering, "Did I really say that out loud?" Well, it woke Emily up, too. When I delivered my "I hither thee" to her in the morning, she said that was just how I sounded!

The Human Wrecking Ball

2011-08-15T06:48:00.002-04:00

A man rigged himself up as a human wrecking ball. He swung by and missed the wood building he was aiming for, swinging back the other way to smack into a brick building that didn't budge, literally flattening the man. Miraculously, he survived, as rescuers worked quickly to pry him off and detach him from the rope. Before they could, the guy was absorbed into the facade, becoming one of the many decorative items making up the artwork on the side of the building. The suggestion in my mind was that the rest of the objects were formed in the same way, by wrecking ball.

I followed a man who resembled Steve Allen as he was trying to locate a book for me. The room became a wide highway I was suddenly driving down. Then I was running through a building, working out on the stairways and rails like it was an obstacle course. Finally, I walked into the front door of a hotel where there was a line at the counter that included an ex-girlfriend. Walking into the dining area, I found Dad in line for the buffet. He first handed me his room key, but as he reached out to hand me his car key, a hand came from behind me and snatched it away.

Tall Woman

2011-08-11T07:29:00.002-04:00

Meeting someone I hadn't seen since high school provoked this dream: I sat at in my dining room at Clifton with a few people I knew long ago. I mentioned to one woman how she hadn't changed, but then she stood up, having to duck her head under an eight foot ceiling. Another dream had me looking up sortable electronic stats on the tallest and shortest men and women. Finally, an attorney was trying to convince me to litigate, but I didn't think it was a good idea. I perceived he was desperate for the work and was determined, but I stuck to my guns.

I dreamed a woman running for City Council made a scene when...

2011-08-10T07:49:00.002-04:00

I dreamed a woman running for City Council made a scene when a homeless man approached her at a news conference. She seemed proud of the fact she physically shoved the man away while delivering a stream of invectives. Then she walked over to me and demonstrated the shove. It hurt!

Then I saw a commercial for asthma sufferers where a guy demonstrated the fish out of water by making his stomach stick way out. Jamie Lee Curtis was also demonstrating with him.

This commercial was followed by the continuation of the 49ers/Eagles football game. San Fran had a huge lead that was cut to 37-24.

Mel Torme in the Clifton Ave. Parade

2011-08-08T06:33:00.003-04:00

Had a rare dream with the Mom/Dad combination. The scene was Clifton, of course, and none too surprising was the fact that sister Jorgia was getting under their skin. I had to leave the house and head up Riley. I got as far as Devonshire when I was stopped by a passing float with a guy on it that sang like Mel Torme.

I also had a work stress dream where my fictional boss glared at me from across the room while I searched for my telephone headset, needed to answer the ringing phone, plus the call on hold. I looked high and low, and around first my desk, then everyone else's. Then the desks turned into beds, and there I was, flipping mattresses around, while disturbing those around me.

Basketball, Church, Theatre

2011-08-01T06:45:00.002-04:00

I sat on the bench for the entire first quarter of a basketball game, expecting to start the beginning of the second. We were actually winning for a change, and taking one look at the opponents, I could see why. Some of the players were females in high heels, woefully unprepared for the rigors of basketball. But we weren't killing them, because we were bad, too. As the first quarter ended, I dashed onto the court, practicing shooting, but mostly dribbling, up and down the court. However, the rest of the game was postponed, much to my chagrin.

Later that night...I thought I was going to church with two other people. We sat in pews, but all the people up front did for twenty minutes was talk and pass out food. It was then I realized the organ, choir and "real" church was on a platform to our immediate right. My seat could be turned manually or automatically. Entire rows were electrically turned to see three people, including the organist, backs to the audience, begin to sway to the music, hands in the air. I began to get the impression I was in the wrong type of church. Shortly after that, I was asked to leave by an old preacher because It looked like I was being perverse with a black cucumber. Rather than protest, I left, but since the church was my house on Clifton, I had to eventually come back. The next time, the preacher threatened me with his hand in his pocket, like he had a weapon. I did the same thing and escaped. I felt I had to get this church out of my house, but I didn't know how.

Walking out to my front yard, I noticed cast members of a play I was supposed to be in, but dropped out. When the realization hit that I couldn't be with this wonderful group, I broke down and cried. I wanted someone to notice me. One of them was talking about me in glowing terms, but was in character, so she said nothing to me directly. I thought about asking for my role back. It was a small one, anyway. I went upstairs to look under the bed for my old script.

Giant Bird, Singing Karaoke in a Golf Cart, Em Looks Like Me

2011-07-29T07:22:00.003-04:00

In this dream, I was singing the longest ever karaoke song. I ad libbed the introduction, singing the credits and jazzing things up the best I knew how. Audience response was minimal, but I didn't care. I was having a ball. The selection continued and I walked to a waiting golf cart outside, continuing to sing on a cordless mic, riding in the hills and singing about the beauty I was seeing. Back inside, the song suddenly stops and I don't know what to do. I'm speechless.

I encountered a cheetah in a park. It looked as though I was about to be attacked, but he just walked on by, staring at me. Then he came back as a bird as large as a house and looked down like he he going to pick me up and fly away.

I took Emily to the doctor for a checkup. When she came out, she looked just like me. She was very angry and refused to talk.

Ernie & Lulu

2011-07-26T07:14:00.002-04:00

The great Ernie Harwell was standing nearby with his lovely wife, Lulu. They were both much younger than recent years. I asked Abigail to take a photo of Drew and me with the two of them, asking their permission first, of course. It became a long, busy ordeal, but the Harwells remained cordial the whole time. More and more people wanted to get into the picture and I got upset. What I didn't get upset about was Lulu stretching her leg across mine as we sat.

John Candy Land Dream

2011-07-26T06:51:00.003-04:00

The recent discussion of John Candy laid the groundwork for a fantastical dream last night. I was not only in the Saturday Night Live studio, but as an audience member, I was allowed to mingle amongst the actors, up close and personal, as they performed. First there was a number about washed up and past-their-prime actors that was pretty funny. People like Will Ferrell and Chevy Chase had solos. Then it came time for the sweet John Candy to sing and I felt sadness. He looked exactly as he did a few years before he died, maybe better. I wanted to walk right up to him and say if he would do more rom coms like Only the Lonely, he could be on top again. In the skit that followed, there was so much "business" going on around me; props everywhere, I wondered how they would handle it if I interjected a line here or there. After all, they are kings of improv, aren't they? One fellow in particular smiled when I would chuckle at his lines, satisfied he was delivering well. I went to lie down on a bench where a man delivered his lines in a live commercial a few moments before. I threw him off greatly when he came back to do his second one and I refused to get off, because I feigned sleeping. Finally, a local portion of SNL took place outside. A Julie Ferrell, a tall young lady I knew from a long ago dream, was singing and I remember hoping she would come over, remember who I was and hug me, for she gave great hugs. And then there was Tim L., running quickly through the streets, reciting a poem before preventing a bomb from going off inside his house.

I Was Controlled by Life Sized Action Figures

2011-07-24T14:14:00.003-04:00

As I browsed through a store with life sized action hero dolls, they came to life to create a very powerful force field. Initially, I was rendered helpless, being transported a few feet off the ground, wherever they wanted me to go. Summoning all my energy, I broke the field to fly where I wanted to.

Driverless Vehicle, Naked at a Party

2011-07-23T22:10:00.003-04:00

I let Emily out of the car with it still running. Then I got out to walk her to the door, against my better judgment for the car was moving slightly. Thinking I could chase it down easily, it wasn't long before I realized how daunting the task would be. I chased in vain as the car careened all over the intersection, ramming into at least three vehicles, parked and moving. People were yelling at me.

At a party of close to a dozen guests, it occurred to me I was the only one laying down. And also, the only one without anything on from the waist down. I was slightly uncomfortable, but no one seemed to mind until a new guest, theatre friend Prince, arrived. We agreed I should have pants on because he would feel weird sitting next to me. Going to the bathroom in my son Andrew's room, I was distressed that the toilet was missing.

Shortest Dream Ever

2011-07-20T06:34:00.001-04:00

I viewed an image of an old refrigerator being placed on the curb outside the downtown YMCA (where my dad used to work). The dream lasted all of 2 seconds.

Dad Made Me Do It

2011-07-19T07:05:00.002-04:00

Dad made me not one, but TWO large ham and egg sandwiches. He gave me the second as I completed the first. Fried eggs in sandwiches was such a Dad thing back in the '70s and '80s when he was alive. The sandwiches were messy and crumbled a lot. I was also provided three large orders of McDonald's fries, but I only finished one of them.

Vivid Dreams from the Past Three Nights

2011-07-17T08:12:00.002-04:00

After viewing a hockey game, live, there was a ceremony on the ice. The announcer got accidentally swatted off the platform by a player, whereupon he fell over a prone figure skater, then slid across the ice, slamming his body into the boards. I was mesmerized looking at the replay several times. Then I looked just below the second deck railing to see my ex, Bonnie in my Clifton Ave. house dining room. I crawled below to change the dream entirely. Hockey game to former marital duties. I was going to take the laundry to the basement, but Bonnie said some of it couldn't go into our washer. Instead, all camping clothing had to be washed in the house across the street.

I also had a pretty cool theatre dream a couple of nights ago. Somehow, I did not feel the need to learn my lines well. Strange, because I was the lead. Backstage, on opening night, I am in costume and make-up way early, so I had a lot of time to think about lines. In fact, the more I thought, the more scared I became. Once I looked at a script, the realization came that I was royally screwed. The saving grace of this situation was knowing I could wake myself up from the dream instead of participating in a certain disaster. So wake up I did.

Traveling in a far away town in the middle of the night, I was finally tired enough to stop at a motel. To my surprise (since it was 3 am), another car pulled in at the same time. Having stayed at this place before (in an earlier dream last night), I knew I could enter the back door of #16 without a key, place my luggage on the bed, then go out the front, to check in at the nearby office. A woman in the other party just sneaked in ahead of me and was given Room 16 by the clerk. I interrupted and explained what I had done, and at first, I thought the other people would simply be given another room. You see, I really wanted 16 because it was close to the office. Then the clerk changed his mind and I got upset. I got into a huge argument with the guy standing behind me. It got into threats, and some pushing and shoving, but no fisticuffs. I was glad, for he was bigger and much stronger than me.

Dreams About Dreams

2011-07-15T06:43:00.002-04:00

Anyone who knows me and is a regular reader of my dreams will appreciate and understand the profundity of this one. I dreamed I woke up and jotted down notes on what I dreamed so I could blog them later. Upon returning to the notes, not a one of them made sense or triggered a memory of any dreams. Then it dawned on me that the reason for the gibberish was because I knew I was dreaming, so what didn't make sense wasn't expected to make sense. Make sense?

Last night, I went to get my wife's prescription filled. I recognized the druggist as a girlfriend from way back. A smile came slowly over her face as I began to talk, but it was erased when I said the name Clark, because she would not have known I changed my name. The woman next to me, I knew from the same era. She was quite certain who I was. She was quite the talkative person back in the day, and things sure hadn't changed.

New Tech Includes Google Stalking

2011-07-12T16:12:00.003-04:00

I have asked a lot of new people to be FB friends lately, so it wasn't surprising that I just woke up from a dream where I was doing just that. What WAS surprising was the person I searched for was one I had never done so in real life. He looked pretty strong in his profile pic and I knew he grew up on a farm, so I was going to comment on his physique. I was also going to tie it to his farming, until I Google mapped his house, which could now be done through the Facebook inquiry and discovered he lived by the water. Another new and improved map feature was in satellite mode, you could zoom right inside the house! Here, I found the guy standing in his living room and his elderly father sitting in a nearby chair!

When I woke up, I looked him up for real and sent a friend request. I hope he accepts so I can tell him this dream (and find out if his dad is still alive).

Meeting Jean Simmons Through Mickey Rooney

2011-07-07T06:40:00.002-04:00

A truly bizarre dream night returned to me for the first time in awhile and I didn't even eat anything weird before bed.

I was sitting on a public toilet with no stall, zero privacy, could see everybody. And everybody came in, so it seemed. The poor janitor could not work around so many, though he kept trying. At one point, he reached to the ceiling with his broom handle and tripped a light on with a spark, clearing all out but me and a boss, who was very understanding why I would take 45 minutes to get back to work under those conditions. I walked out onto Riley Street with pants but no shirt. To my complete surprise, Em brought the late actress who starred in Guys 'n' Dolls opposite Marlon Brando home to meet me, Jean Simmons. She was old in this dream, but elegant in spite of having large teeth. I ran back inside to look presentable. I still had hair dressing on my hands with I shook hers, so I apologized. She was my height as we walked with our arms around each other's waists. I joked that I was no leading man type.

Em had arranged this meeting through our mutual friend, Mickey Rooney, who knew Liz Taylor, who knew Jean. Jean went away to talk with other people for awhile, but not before we had a nice talk. Some flowers were delivered, and at first I thought Ms. Simmons had gotten them for me, but they turned out to be to Ron, my niece's ex, from Em.

Before running into Jean again in my old Clifton home's backyard, Ben and I observed a line score indicating the Tiger's Rick Porcello had just thrown a no-hitter. Detroit had 7 runs and 7 hits in their shutout win.

Jean was swinging in the backyard with a young man and woman. I latched on to her chain and another's to ride along. She got off the swing and I decided to be bold and kiss her. At first, she was very surprised, but then got into it by wiggling her tongue rapidly back and forth in my mouth. That was when I woke up.

Theatre dream and midnight haircut...

2011-07-02T10:45:00.002-04:00

I had a theatre dream where I was handed the male lead well after rehearsals had started. Everyone was off book but me. I missed my cue for Scene 2 because I didn't have my script on the right page. All women, including Emily, were in Scene 1 and I read opposite her in my first scene.

Last night, I dreamed I fell asleep during my hair appointment and the hairdresser kept working on me until midnight. I couldn't reach Em to tell her where I was because I didn't have my phone. Then I got lost going home, driving into dead ends and narrow alleyways I was afraid to navigate. When I finally got home, Andrew was climbing on our bedroom window and scratching to get in.

Annie, Nude Bathing, Clifton Jog

2011-06-30T08:00:00.002-04:00

Tigi drove me to the theater so we could both appear on stage in Annie. She drove a full size Olds. I mistakenly left my stage shoes in the car, which would cause me concern later. I heard the orchestra warm up and was thankful to be in a show with such fine musicians. I went to another part of the building and saw myself on TV, taped from when I was in the previous room. My dream ended by a nearby pool where I fell in, nude.

In other dream news, I went for a jog from my old Clifton home, up Riley Street. I wore white deck shoes. People were in their yards, working on various home projects. One guy, Terry B., worked on his home and later worked on someone else's roof when I went on a second run. The street became impassable when the things people were making were placed as obstacles in my way.

Attack Frog & Pure Country

2011-06-28T17:14:00.002-04:00

After dealing with work issues with my boss (who was taller than in real life) and sweating profusely, I walked outside to see my cat, soaking wet in the rain next to my car. As I laid down to pet him, he latched his claws into my leg. At the same time, a frog came out from under the car and tried to attack me as well.

The next night, I dreamed I found myself upstairs at my boyhood home on Clifton Avenue. Twice I turned on the radio, where a country station happened to be on, and both times a lady from the house in back of me approached. I jumped out of the upstairs window on top of the roof of a van, slipping through the sunroof to get away.

As a Cat Flies

2011-06-25T07:43:00.002-04:00

I was typing on a typewriter in the corner of my Clifton basement. I pulled a plug out of it and as a result, air was being expelled from it. This made the typewriter light as a feather, but it also created an effect on the nearby cat. Sync rose into the air, his eyes wide, legs outstretched with claws out. I followed him as he floated across the basement and midway up the stairs, coming to rest behind some furniture where he couldn't be reached. Others ran up upon hearing the commotion. The cat, who in my mind was my sister whose name I'd forgotten, told the people she had flown, but they didn't believe her. I verified that I saw her fly, but also assured them I was dreaming. I was embarrassed I did not remember her name, but then it came to me. She was Chris.

Wearing Red in a Green Town

2011-06-22T17:27:00.002-04:00

I walked a strange journey through the city of Lansing in last night's dream. On the North/South streets, the surroundings were familiar. But on the East/West streets, it did not look like Lansing at all. In fact, one block in particular had a distinctly green look. The block was filled with street vendors and patrons, every one dressed in green. I suspected I was in a Catholic sect that worshipped St. Patrick. I received many disapproving stares as I nervously made my way to the end of the block, because I had red on. I had almost gotten through when an aggressive man came at me. I diffused his anger by suggesting he remain as calm as the others.

Dream Tied to Another Dream AND Intertwined with Another Person's

2011-06-21T06:36:00.003-04:00

I woke up at 5:30, a half hour before I planned to get up. I fell back asleep and dreamed of Emily and I bringing daughter Andrea a tray of breakfast food she'd won. Andrea refused it, so we had to eat it. This led to a discussion about the dream I had just had PRIOR to 5:30, where I looked for food in a nicely remodeled Clifton kitchen, but all I could find were two almost empty bags of chips. Christy P. had just moved to Montana from this house in my dream, and as I am relating the dream to Emily in my second dream, she is discussing HER dream which coincided with my first dream because we were both it, but split up when I went into the kitchen. You got all that? Oh, another thing: Em is talking like it really happened, whereas I am talking like it was a dream. Prior to us splitting into our own dreams, I drove Em to Clifton in a most unusual, erratic way. I am slouched behind the wheel, feet propped on the dash. The car is moving slowly toward the stop sign on Harding and Mt. Hope and I am hoping the traffic is clear so I don't have to put on the brakes. Alas, there was traffic, and still not willing to bring my legs down, I drove left into the wrong lane while the cars from the right went by. Emily remembered all these car details in her dream, too (not in real life, though. Well...maybe. She hasn't woke up yet...)

Car Drives Itself

2011-06-10T07:46:00.003-04:00

I dreamed I woke up in the passenger seat of a car driven by...no one. Andrew was supposed to be driving his friend Ian to work. Ian was in the back seat. Andrew didn't make it. I wondered how the car could avoid collisions because we ran every red light. I stumbled trying to jump into the driver's seat, but the delay didn't hurt us. We eventually got to the end of the street, ascended a steep, long bank of stairs, drove down the other side with a lighted sign of a movie called The Rapture adorning a building. I got out of the car, hopped on a bike and rode through a park.

Jumping Through Hoops for the Love of Soap

2011-06-05T07:02:00.002-04:00

Emily was working and sent me looking for a bar of soap. I walked upstairs and the bosses at retirement were making all employees evacuate the building so they could speak to us about a new security system. The employees were upset because their personal security code was to be the last 4 digits of their phone number and thought it would be too easy for people to figure out the first 3 digits. I, wanting to avoid going outside, found a place to hide in a grocery aisle, aided by my theatre friend, Tessa. I waited by myself until the meeting adjourned. Tessa and another woman came back to check on me. That is when the bosses discovered my hideout. Carla, who in real life retired as a former lead worker of mine, and another boss saw that my name wasn't checked off their list of attendees and referred me to Don, another former co-worker who was a boss only in this dream. They scoffed at my explanation I shunned the meeting because of a "personal issue" concerning a bar of soap. As I walked down the hall with the bosses, they faded away and it was apparent I was at the old Downtown YMCA, where my dad worked for over 30 years. I walked into the ladies restroom by mistake, complaining to my theatre friend Brad that the men/women symbols on the doors were too confusing. We walked into a quite full restroom where a naked black man and naked white man were in a seeming compromising position on the floor, but instead were simply waiting for the whirlpool. At this point, I was still searching for that bar of soap for Emily. I decided to go home to get one.

Up or Down?

2011-05-30T09:39:00.000-04:00

Last night, I dreamed of walking along and feeling my time was up. So I flew straight up, assuming Heaven was there. But before too long, I began free falling, eventually passing into a giant hole in the earth. Hmm, I wonder if Someone is trying to tell me something?

Tornadoes Everywhere

2011-05-25T06:42:00.002-04:00

I was deathly scared of tornadoes as a child. As such, I dreamed about them alot. Last night, I revisited my past fears and I had brought it on myself because of all the recent talk of devastation this spring. I was playing softball when someone spotted two funnel clouds. We all ran, but it seemed fruitless because a) there was no place to hide in such an open field, and b) tornadoes were springing up in all directions. So...even though they hadn't gotten to me yet, I threw myself up into the air, soaring several feet above all the people on the ground, yelling all the while yet so scared, hardly any sound came out of my mouth. I woke up and for several minutes, thinking on this dream gave me chills.

In other dreams last night, I got hung up on by the Onion when I called and asked them for information for a blog I publish each day based on their articles. Also, I was unsuccessful in faxing two documents to my son in Oregon. The transmittal simply said, NO. Emily ushered me away for a walk to ease my frustration.

Uldnik

2011-05-22T15:08:00.002-04:00

I have driven through Uldnik. It's not on any map. Michigan does not recognize it as a corporation. It does not come up in a search engine. But I am here to tell you it exists, and not just in my mind. Take a drive on M-89 northwest of Battle Creek and you'll find the sign at the town limits. It makes me wonder where the name comes from. Aliens may have founded it. But they let me pass through it and for that, I am grateful.

Conan O'Brien in my Neighborhood

2011-05-20T07:44:00.001-04:00

As I drove away from my old house on Clifton, I noticed an odd looking rainbow overhead. I parked at a stop sign on Lincoln facing Pennsylvania Ave. and swung my legs on the passenger seat to rest. I saw a dark shadow out of the corner of my eye. Looking down Lincoln, I saw Conan O'Brien in the road. Then I realized the shadow was the cameraman filming a spot of O'Brien. I could have rolled my window down and shook his hand as other neighbors were doing, but I didn't. Driving back home, I saw a different rainbow and I thought to myself what a lucky day I was having.

Pretty Awesome Flying

2011-05-16T07:11:00.002-04:00

Two unusual things struck me about this particular flying episode. One, I didn't stand around wondering if I could do it as I normally do. I got up there immediately, blazing a trail across the dark, stormy sky, doing occasional somersaults. The other striking thing was that it seemed so normal as a mode of transportation as opposed to just a novelty act. I was going places!

I played basketball in a separate dream, behind 32-31 and with the ball. I missed a close in shot, surprising but I'd been hot. I kept getting the rebound and missing the putback. Then I went to another court and played in their game while the first one was still going on. I lamented afterward about having a bad game despite getting my career high.

Mystic Lake Tsunami

2011-05-15T19:12:00.002-04:00

I had a fairly realistic dream about needing to tread water to keep from drowning. Mystic Lake, the camp of my youth and source of many nights of dream fodder over the years, was the scene once again. A group of us stood on an enclosed porch and watched a storm roar in off the lake. Things got hairy when the water crashed onto the porch, sending us scurrying inside. The water broke down walls and quickly filled the rooms inside. My thought was to remain calm and literally go with the flow. The others did the same. We floated along, heads bobbing near the ceiling until I woke up.

This dream combined the great childhood memories of Mystic Lake, rekindled by a song I sang at karaoke the other night, and the recent stormy weather we have been having.

Madeline

2011-05-08T08:01:00.002-04:00

A big part of our everyday lives consists of letting the dog or cat in or out of the house. Imagine, if you will, my shock when our recently deceased Australian Shepherd was waiting at the back door to come in, while doing a handstand. The dream freaked me so much, I woke up.

Visit From Erik

2011-05-03T07:08:00.002-04:00

I had a dream about a former coworker who recently died. First, I had gotten to my old job about 5 minutes late. There was a crowd at the building entrance that blocked the way inside. I crawled on hands and knees through people's legs to get to my waiting place. I didn't feel too bad about being late because two of my bosses were, too. Later, I watched a video in a conference room with a group of employees. Kevin Kline and Johnny Carson were speaking on what to do when losing a loved one. This was ironic because Erik sat next to me and it didn't dawn on me until I woke up that he died. Kevin finished speaking and shook hands with Johnny. The studio lights must have been hot, for the sweat on Kline's face was apparent. I felt a little warm myself. Erik's face was beet red. Walking outside, the cool rain felt refreshing.

Rising Ocean Waves

2011-05-02T07:30:00.002-04:00

I was lounging on a rock that overlooked the ocean. The waves initially crashed just under where I was, but soon they leapt over me and carried me several feet upward close to a ceiling.

Also, I dreamed I was back working for the state where people crowded the narrow aisles, making it difficult to punch the time clock on time.

An Unusual Doctor Appointment

2011-05-01T08:15:00.002-04:00

I had a stressful work dream regarding my present job. Chris and I were the only ones there. We weren't where I usually work, but instead, a tiny apartment. I was late for a doctor appointment because I could not get through with a phone call. I rushed to the doctor about 3 hours after my shift ended. Oh, I forgot. While still at work, the doctor's receptionist came to the door and asked for number 65, which was me. The doctor's office was several stories up in an extremely busy New York style office building. The woman who escorted me to the elevator was twice as tall as I was, and she was not the tallest person in the lobby. While at the doctor, I got a call to hurry back to work.

Kate Moss, Turtle Sitter

2011-04-27T07:03:00.003-04:00

I was thinking how my boys Andrew and Jeremy were going to be thrilled. They were both under the age of 10 in this dream. Just like those illusions, I pulled toy after toy from my mailbox, enough to fill up a van. All of them were plastic or plush dolls and animals.

My sister Jorgia brought a turtle home. For some reason, it was my job to find a container for him to stay so he couldn't just go wherever. I couldn't find anything. I tried placing him on top of a pile of blankets on a top bunk of a bed, but the turtle jumped off and landed on his back. I turned and saw Kate Moss lying on her back in the doorway, completely covered by a thin veil. Jorgia told me Kate was there to keep the turtle in the room. I felt like kneeling down to kiss Kate, but Jorgia packed her up in a box before I could do so.

Work, Church in My Undies, TWSS

2011-04-25T06:53:00.002-04:00

I returned to my retirement job for a very brief time. Though I've actually been retired for almost a year, in this dream, it was only one week off. My desk was moved and I didn't know what to do. Then all gathered for a big meeting in the hall. After that, we all rushed to get out of the building. I thought I remembered where I parked, but the car was further down. I walked this way and that, through snowbanks to get to it. I proceeded to church because I promised someone I would. A homeless looking greeter stood in front on the sidewalk with two signs; one pointing the way to the entrance, the other said NO CREAM. Odd that a church would tell you up front you would have to drink your coffee black. Inside, I realized I was only dressed in a white dress shirt and blue underwear. I wondered if my underwear was covered. There were all teenagers and me in a room with no way out. I felt like I was supposed to be the Sunday School teacher. I recognized a teen from my teaching days. We said nothing, but I acknowledged her by shadow boxing her.

In a later dream, I responded to a "That's What She Said" moment. A photographer was preparing to take a picture of several of us sitting together. I sat next to Angelina Jolie. At the other end, a man was making our line crooked, so a girl said, "Man off!" I replied with the famous phrase.

Clifton Stress, Clifton Mess

2011-04-19T06:46:00.002-04:00

Parts of the house where I was trying to get ready for work looked like my boyhood home, like my bedroom with a lot of the things I needed under the bed, askew. Another room was like my current bedroom, making a lunch of bread on bread sandwiches for our dog, Henry. A third area was two split lower levels that when the banks of light fixtures refused to work was the source of much frustration. I woke up and upon falling back asleep, the house appeared cleaner at first, but I uncovered more things in disarray and wondered when I would ever have time to straighten.

Snippets

2011-04-14T07:31:00.003-04:00

Standing on stage with several other actors, a girl forgot her line and no one was able to save her. I laughed nervously before asking her how it felt to forget a line.

I angered some guy some distance behind me in the snow. So we began throwing snowballs at each other. He eventually caught up to me and tried to bury me in the incredibly deep snow. I successfully eluded him by tweaking his nose.

I got a call at work that my son had a disease called TUSE, an acronym for something.

Driving two passengers south on Pennsylvania, I asked if they wanted me to risk a traffic infraction. They asked how much. I said $25. They said no. I did it anyway, making an illegal left turn onto Riley, into my old neighborhood. No one saw us. The car careened around in circles on both streets without hitting anything.

Faithful to Emily, Even in a Dream

2011-04-11T07:32:00.002-04:00

I was bound in mid air within a room by an invisible force. I struggled to break free, feeling all the while The Grim Reaper was laying claim to my soul. I yelled, "I'm not ready to die, yet!" A beautiful woman appeared with the offer that if I made love to her, I would save my life. I knew it was the devil's lie and would not cheat on Emily, even in a dream. I broke the invisible chains and went outside to see Emily, having to explain to her why the woman was following me.

Gator Fans Overtake MSU's Campus

2011-04-06T07:35:00.002-04:00

I stood outside Breslin Center hoping tickets were available for Florida vs. MSU basketball. However, everyone else waiting to get in were Gator fans, arrogantly proclaiming they purchased all available tickets. I got separated from Andrew and Jeremy, getting boxed in by motor homes at a tailgating lot.

I also attended a wedding with my sons. We all wore white suits and raspberry colored shirts with huge collars.

Donald Trump, Jr. produced a show with a hidden camera filming people duped into supporting fake causes. I made it onto the show.

The Dangers of Discussing Rent

2011-04-04T07:36:00.002-04:00

Several men sat around a table, debating which Rent character was the best. A particularly strange looking man entreated another to put his mouth on two lit wires sticking out of the stanger's mouth. Apparently, the victim thought that by doing so, he would be enlightened by a higher power. Upon contact, he euphorically floated away. I heard a voice say, "He's happy for the moment, until he realizes he can never come back."

Recurring Dream Night Extraordinaire

2011-04-03T07:25:00.002-04:00

Some of the best elements of dreams of the recurring kind graced me last night in the most active my somnolent mind as been in a long time. A long visit from Dad, flying, driving like a stunt man, and another wicked wind storm were featured.

I was watching The Final Four on TV. The producers kept cutting to two women announcers in a glass booth, nowhere near the court, but inside a Portland, Oregon office building. I went into the next room, sat down and had a long, warm, conversation with my dear dad. I was aware I was dreaming and aware my dad is really deceased. I was (and am) convinced this is his way of staying in touch with me. As I said goodbye, I told him I would fly home because, after all, I was dreaming. I got into the air two or three times, getting above the treetops before drifting back to earth. After the last time, an invisible force dragged me at warp speed to Portland, the site of the aforementioned basketball tournament. I was stopped right in front of that glass booth with the women. I walked into the next area and it was a hospital. Still another area was an old, dingy grocery store I walked into with Tessa, there for a job interview. There was no place to walk, so I got up on a table of merchandise. At the same time, the employees covered the contents, as they were closing. I was trapped.

The wind storm came later as I was vacationing alone in a resort home. It got progressively stronger. At first, I just stared out the window to see if the wind would blow over the condiments on the picnic table. When it did, I decided I'd better shut some windows.

The car dream was frustrating, but cool. I drove a car full of people to some venue and got stopped by the police just before we got there. I wasn't friendly to the officer, but not belligerent, either. I couldn't find my proof of insurance, but didn't get in trouble for it. It turned out I was stopped because one of my occupants was suspected of something. The suspect paid the officer some cash, the officer making change in return, but doing so at the time he returned my wallet, driver license and registration. My wallet was now noticeably fatter with small bills. No one claimed the extra cash, so I kept it. Thinking we'd be late for sure now, I sped through a maze of alleys and parking lots. Once I almost didn't notice a chained entrance to a lot and whipped the car around like a stuntman.

A Long, Strange Clifton Dream

2011-03-29T07:49:00.002-04:00

First, I worked in the retirement phone center with two other people out of my home on Clifton. The other two left the house on break, leaving me to work alone the last portion of the day. I had someone on hold so long, I forgot about them and they hung up. I was alone in the completely dark house, and all was quiet. It felt weird. Eventually, parents began bringing their children over like it was Halloween. Before long, the house was filled with partygoers. I was in my bathrobe, which fell open often with nothing underneath (generated by watching Gary Busey do the same on Celebrity Apprentice last night). I ended up in the basement, sorting through old clothes and blankets, but running into trouble with insects and spiders.

Yer Blind, Ump. So Bring Your Kid Along!

2011-03-27T10:04:00.002-04:00

First Detroit Tiger dream of the season. A controversial play at the plate. A Tiger was called out by the umpire who brought his young son along with him. The kid is wrapped up in the ump's arm with no chest protector or mask of his own. The throw came in ahead of the runner, but the runner apparently snuck his foot in before the tag. Upon seeing the replay, the kid's eyes got wide as the runner bore down on him, then he squeezed his eyes shut and looked away. There was talk that the ump would not be allowed to bring his son anymore if he wasn't going to get the calls right.

Lost Dog in the Storm, Hover Car

2011-03-25T15:32:00.003-04:00

A vicious winter storm threatened property damage to our new house. I inadvertently left our new dog, a golden mix, outside on a chain. The poor thing was missing when I went out to rescue him. After the storm passed, doggy came back to our extreme joy, with snow and ice all over him.

I discovered that by holding an opened umbrella while driving a mini convertible, the car lifted off the street a few inches!

Radio Station Dream and David Andrews

2011-03-24T08:04:00.002-04:00

In my real life last evening, I talked to a customer service rep on speaker phone, chatting amicably like I was a radio host again. So last night's dream was one of the many radio station dreams I used to have regularly. Once again, I opened the station, putting in the cart with the evening greeting instead of the morning one. So I just played the morning one afterward. I had to rush out the door and up a ladder to check the transmitter reading, returning inside to the familiar dead air of virtually every one of these dreams.

A TV show had an old time theme and feel, black and white, grainy, etc. Close in on a baby buggy, then the frame froze. A voice in the room called, "And the baby grew up to be..." A TV 6 panel came on the screen, so the voice continued, "David Andrews!"

I Parked in President Obama's Driveway

2011-03-22T06:16:00.003-04:00

One dream had Sarah H., Emily and me following one of my high school girlfriends back through a restaurant's kitchen that led to a department store dressing room her mother maintained. I never met Vicki's mother, but there she was in this dream, aged appropriately, but looking good for seventies, nonetheless. I asked her what she had been doing all these past years and upon saying that, she remembered my name. This relieved me because I wasn't 100% sure it was her mom in the first place. Through some playfulness among all of us, mostly Sarah's doing, I lost most of my clothes and lay on the floor laughing in nothing but a jockstrap. I got up and kissed Emily passionately before finding the hidden clothes and getting out of there. Someone tossed me a shirt identical to the one I was wearing, but rattier. I tossed it aside in favor of my own. We past the Saginaw St. Irish Pub, however, it was inside a mall. I looked inside to see if karaoke was back and it wasn't.

A bit later, I helped Michael H. with his lines for half of a play before he got tired of it. On the way home, I passed the President's house, which was a regular, average house on the street. I witnessed Obama being chauffeured two blocks to Canada in a red Chrysler, but they had to turn around because they hadn't cleared the trip with authorities. I thought I had better move my car out of his driveway. Although they had room to get around my car into the garage, they creeped up behind me on the sidewalk as I awoke.

Lots of Dreams

2011-03-20T06:43:00.002-04:00

Last night dream capsules: Driving a school bus, driving my first car (the 1961 Mercury), watching Michael H. acting in a scene where he tied up a guy by his wrists before commencing to matchmake with two other guys. Chuckie was one of five guys line dancing at the 50 yard line before rushing and blocking my team as if on a kick return. He was so strong, he drove me almost to the goal line before I tackled him. Finally, a super frisbee game with Evan, where we played with two of them simultaneously, watching them go great distances, seemingly in slow motion.

Bob Dylan & Justin Bieber

2011-03-19T17:16:00.003-04:00

I dreamed of traveling by bicycle every day with Emily. There was a Deja vu moment where upon reaching a certain spot, the same Justin Bieber song would be heard, with strangers singing the words along with me. This next part did not happen before. Within a crowd of people standing on a corner, Bob Dylan did a harmonica solo that turned into a fully orchestrated song. I wondered why nobody burst into applause at his mere presence, but I didn't want to be the first one.

Elevators!

2011-03-17T18:26:00.002-04:00

I traveled on one elevator after another, going up in some, sideways in others. About midway through my sojourn, I got the impression I was being chased. I sped up as I tried to outfox my pursuers. When I was apprehended, one man said to the other that he would be sure I was real and not a robot if he kissed me and I didn't blush. This surprised me, as it had not occurred to me I could appear not human to him. I avoided danger by remaining completely still as he lightly kissed me on the corner of my mouth.

Full Frontal

2011-03-15T14:54:00.002-04:00

Dreamed of running on a wide and fast conveyor belt to an unknown destination with Em.

Also, I accidentally dropped trou and gave full frontal to Kim on my way to change into a swim suit. It was no big deal for either of us. Later, we swam in an Olympic size pool with Ben and Jeremy (all clothed).

Dogs 'n' Cats

2011-03-14T07:45:00.002-04:00

I tossed 4 cat treats in the middle of a deserted neighborhood street in the middle of the night. My cat ate one, but left the others. The treats were getting rained on so I picked them up in my underwear, then proceeded to lie in the gutter clutching them in my hand. A small white dog walked up and gripped my forearm in his teeth.